Our Journey of Faith

Nothing changes your life like a life-changing moment. It may sound pretty obvious, but that statement doesn’t have real impact until a moment changes your life. One certainly changed ours. It needed to. And we’re both glad it did.

Before 2pm on May 14, 2013, our outlook on life was quite different than it is today. We severely undervalued life and what a blessing it is. We took a lot of things for granted. We assumed everything would always be fine because that’s how it always is. We didn’t devote time to pray for Baby J. We didn’t pray for Jacky’s pregnancy. We took for granted that Baby J would come out fine. We both realized we were not doing those things but neither of us took them serious enough to make serious changes. We knew we weren’t ready to be the spiritual examples we needed to be for our children, but we weren’t taking action to resolve it.

That all changed with, “We found some abnormalities.”

But as quickly as we felt alone in our situation, we were surrounded by our God, our family, and our friends. We were at ground zero, and the body of Christ showed up in a big way. Not only were other believers and non-believers sharing stories of situations with their born and unborn babies, we found ourselves sharing our own story with anyone who wanted to hear it. We prayed for opportunities to show other people that if we could do it, so could they. And that they could do it the same way we were – by lifting it up to the Great Healer, the One who creates and guides our path, the One who gives and takes away, the One who loved us so much He died in our place.

We fully trust His plan for our lives and for Baby J’s life. We know God has entrusted this life into our hands for however long He sees fit, and we know that He has a specific number of days ordained for Baby J’s life as well as our own. We appreciate every one of those days, because we are painfully aware it could be the last. We have been praying the following verses out of Psalms over Baby J every day:

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written
in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
— Psalms 139: 13-18

Knowing that God has things under control and, quite frankly, doesn’t need our help, is such a freeing thought! It gives us peace and hope that no matter what situation arises; we can trust that He knows what He’s doing and has our best interest in mind. We understand that “having our best interest in mind” doesn’t always mean we get what we want – it means God is going to give us what He knows we need or take from us what He knows we don’t need. He can do some pretty powerful things with obedient people and a “right heart” no matter what the situation. The other day we were watching a YouTube video of a man born with no arms and no legs — he’s a motivational speaker, occasionally skydives, has a nice house, and is married and has a child!

Yes, our lives have changed drastically since May 14, but we don’t regret for one second what is going on. We are thankful for this journey. It is taking us to the next level, and our marriage has never been stronger. We have a peace and a joy that just doesn’t make sense sometimes.

We definitely want to encourage anyone going through a tough situation where it seems easy just to give up. Fight the good fight. Remember that God can be trusted – He cannot lie. He has a plan for our lives that is way better than we could ever come up with on our own. And, especially, if you are shown a sonogram that looks less than perfect – give the little one a chance to fight for their life. Life is a gift and a blessing, and who are we to take that away from anyone?