We’re Pregnant!

“You’re pregnant!” followed by a lot of excitement, tears of joy, “Is it a boy or a girl?” and so on … is how it started. “This fetus is not compatible with life” is the way it is now according to our doctors. There’s a lot that’s happened between then and now, so we’d like to catch everyone up and keep you updated through this blog as we go along. It’s been difficult to keep everyone up to date via Facebook, text, e-mail, phone calls, etc., so we figured a blog would be the most common ground to do so. We would certainly like to thank everyone who has asked to be updated throughout our journey with Baby J (as we call him/her). We’ll do our best not to disappoint!

Pre-Pregnancy

After Jacky’s graduation from FAU in May 2012, our plan was to find Jacky a job, start a family, and buy a house (not necessarily in that order). We were really trying to put those things into God’s hands, knowing He would provide the job, the house, and the family in His timing. Not too long after our graduation/anniversary cruise and her mini-vacation, Jacky started looking for a job. God quickly provided a workplace she could truly pour her heart into. In fact, she would be working under a mutual friend of ours who we’d met separately before we even knew each other! (To this day she still loves where she works and loves the people she works with!) Cross that one off the to-do list. In late 2012, we started trying for a baby. It was time. Jacky was done with school, and I would have my year of having Jacky to myself without school or children. In the last few days of January 2013, Jacky went for a scheduled doctor visit and found out she was pregnant – 6 weeks pregnant!

Week 6 – 10

Jacky went to her long-time OB/GYN office for the first few visits. Other than Baby J not stretching out for proper age measurements during the ultrasounds, everything looked fine as far as the doctor could tell. Heartbeats were fast and strong. Several weeks in, the doctor pushed the due date back a week because of the inexact measurements, which is why you may see some inconsistencies in the week numbers listed in this story.

Jacky, being the bouncy socialite that she is, wasn’t totally feeling the warm, fuzzy love coming back from her doctor; she was nice and everything, just not warm and fuzzy. After two or three visits, we received a letter stating that this doctor was going out of network for our insurance. We figured that was God giving us the polite “out” to look for a midwife who would take us to the finish line – holding our hands, smiling at us, and gently telling Jacky to “PUSH!”

Week 11 – 20

Jacky researched a couple midwives who were highly recommended by a few of our friends and the general internet population. During the meet-and-greet interview for the first one, we felt pretty comfortable with her and could see ourselves bringing Baby J into the world under her care. On the way out of her office to go home and make the decision, we ran into a couple we had gone to a Bible study with a couple years earlier; they told us to march right back in and sign up with her. We figured that was God letting us know this was the one.

Week 21

In the standard schedule of events for prenatal doctor visits is the 20-week ultrasound performed by a “specialist” doctor. This is where you have your “official” ultrasound, and it is during this ultrasound that you normally find out if you are having a baby boy or a baby girl. We had scheduled a baby reveal party for that night with our immediate family; we’d gotten pink decorations and blue decorations, prepared an envelope for the doctor in which to place the much-anticipated results, and even had a friend of ours bake a cake to have on stand-by for when we delivered the envelope so she could make it with pink filling or blue filling. We were ready to celebrate whichever was inside Jacky’s womb! Throughout this pregnancy, we have declined most of the “standard” tests relating to genetic disorders and the like. The logic was this: no matter what was discovered through these tests, we weren’t going to “terminate” (doctor’s words) our baby just because the doctors found and documented a possibility of anything less than convenient or desirable. There’s always a possibility of risk during pregnancy, so why would we put ourselves through extra worry just because of a documented possibility of risk? Whatever God had in store for us is what we were going to face head-on. Up to this point we had only received ultrasounds by an OB/GYN. She talked throughout the ultrasounds, letting us into our little baby’s world and pointing out everything she found. This ultrasound was different – this was from a tech instead of a doctor. Not much was said other than basic instructions for Jacky. (We have learned since that techs aren’t allowed to say much during the ultrasound – that’s the doctor’s job.) About the only thing the tech did say later in the session was, “You guys declined the genetic testing, correct?” The tech finished up shortly after and left the room. We just sat there in silence for a few minutes. I was distracted looking on my phone going through work e-mail that had come in during the session, and Jacky was analyzing what the tech had said and didn’t say (again, not knowing the tech wasn’t allowed to say much). “She didn’t say much. Based on her facial expressions I have a feeling something is wrong.” Sometimes I think Jacky over-analyzes things. “Eh. It is what it is.” (That statement went over very well, by the way.) A few minutes later the doctor came in to personally take a few more scans and to share his findings. Our lives were about to change.