Plot Twist

“You guys elected not to have the genetic screening, correct? The ones for Downs, Spina Bifida… You didn’t have an Anmio… Any of that, correct?”

“No, we didn’t,” we replied.

“Ok. These are the four main things we found: The fetus’s organs are outside the body, the spine has severe scoliosis, there is swelling around the body, and we are unable to find the right leg – it may be that we just can’t see it, but the leg bones are relatively easy to find in an ultrasound. Because you declined the genetic screenings, we don’t know if they are due to genetic defects or not.”

Um…

“You basically have three options:” he continued, “You can terminate the pregnancy since you are still under 25 weeks, you can get an Amnio to test for genetic defects, or you can wait it out. You are already 20 weeks, so you don’t have much time if you decide to terminate. Based on what I’m seeing, I just don’t see the fetus making it more than a few weeks, and I certainly don’t expect if you do make it to full term that the baby would live very long. If you want, we can schedule an appointment before you leave today to make sure you can get back in before the 25 weeks.”

We asked the doctor for a few minutes to think about everything, and we were again left alone in silence for the second time that visit. We were in such complete shock about this news, the full reality of the situation hadn’t quite hit us yet. But finding out the sex of the baby became so trivial. A lot of things that were so important and non-negotiable for us 30 minutes earlier did not matter in the least bit anymore. Even in that time, though, whereas we didn’t have a clue what we wanted to do, we absolutely knew what we didn’t want to do.

The doctor came back in. “What did you guys decide?”

“We don’t believe in abortion,” we stated, “so ‘termination’ is not even an option for us. The next option you mentioned was having the Amnio. If we do that, is there anything that can be done based on what you find?”

“Well, first, I just want to make sure you understand that in the state of Florida that you cannot terminate after 24 weeks, so if you change your mind you don’t have a lot of time before that option is no longer available to you.”

“We understand. We’re not going to terminate. What will the results of the Amnio do for the baby? We hear that there is a high risk of miscarriage.”

“There isn’t anything that can be done during the pregnancy based on the results of the Amnio.” He then added, “It just gives doctors an idea of what to prepare for after the fetus comes out – if it makes it to term.”

“In that case, we’ll wait to see what happens naturally.”

On our way out, he told us he’d like to see us again in a few weeks. We scheduled an appointment, but later canceled it before the visit. We just didn’t get a good vibe whatsoever from this doctor.

Jacky and I stood out in the parking lot and, with eyes wide open, held each other in silence for a while.

Now what? What do you do with this kind of information? We had a pink and blue reveal party planned for later that evening. We had friends and family waiting not-so-patiently to find out which we were having. Facebook wanted to know! Even worse, whether you’re talking about miscarriage or special needs, in the long term this is the kind of thing that can lead to severe depression or divorce or both!

What happened next has changed the course of our lives even more so than the news we just received.